CONDO WIVES by PAPATOAD
It was Saturday and I was not looking forward to another afternoon of humiliation. My wife, Cathy, and I were spending the afternoon in the condo common area with three other couples drinking beer and eating off the grills. The beer was pretty constant but the food choices changed with whoever had a turn that week. We had been doing these gatherings for about four months. They started fine, but, lately, I have been noticing that the wives seem to be having more fun than the guys and it was different. The other three husbands did not seem to notice anything and at first, I thought I might be paranoid until I looked into it a little further.
Most of the conversations were between men or between women. The men talked about sports, work, and politics. The women talked about other stuff. As the afternoon wore on, the conversations all seemed to blend and usually ended up with all eight of us chatting. It was about this time, that the subtle cuckoldry started to show up. It was never anything in your face, but always sort of sly and cutesy, and it was usually followed by snickering and giggles on the girl's side of the table. I started to pay attention the over last few weeks.
We all moved into the condo at about the same time. Gary was a welder and was married to Amy, who was a fitness buff. Amy was a small brunette and had a great body. She loved to work out and keep fit. Gary was large, burly, and a little slow on the uptake. They did not appear to go together at all, but I assumed it was love.
Raymond was a cop who was on permanent desk duty due to an injury. He didn't mind being off the streets. He was married to Julie, who was the only one of the girls who worked. Julie was blonde and bubbly. She worked in the claims office of a local insurance company.
Cecil was a mail-sorter at the local main post office. He was a quiet, laid-back type of guy and his wife was the same. Marcie had shoulder-length, mousy, brown hair and a reserved. The only time she showed any personality at all, was when the girls were being giggly. She wasn't ugly and she had a nice body, she was just sort of invisible.
I am John. I am a lawyer, but only do pro bono work. The office I work out of is funded by several grants, so even though I do my work for free, I get a decent salary. I met my wife Cathy in college. She is cute and perky, with short blond hair. Up until a few weeks ago, I assumed everything was perfect between us. Now I know different.
As if on schedule, the girls started their little game. They started teasing Raymond because Julie was spending so much time at the supermarket. They made a few off-color references to having sex with vegetables and ended up telling him to be careful that she doesn't get too friendly with the butcher. Everybody had a good laugh at Raymond's expense including his wife.
Cecil was next on the chopping block. The girls thought it was great fun to talk about Marcie working overtime, with her handsome Italian boss, and even made some references to long lunch hours. Cecil didn't seem to think it was funny, but Gary and Raymond got a good laugh out of it. Marcie just smiled and rolled her eyes coyly.
Gary got attacked worse than the other two. The three girls went on and on about what a good work-out Amy was getting every day down at the gym, and how envious they were. Gary tried to laugh it away but you could tell he was hurting a little. Amy smiled and rubbed his balding head as if to let him know everything was OK.
I knew I was next, but I also knew I was not going to stay around for it.
Two weeks earlier, I had decided to check things out a little more. Some days I would catch a ride to work with Gary, so this allowed me to try something. After the guys left for work, the girls would gather at Amy's for morning coffee and chitchat. Marcie wasn't there because she had to work. When I left for work, I went to meet Gary at his place. It was no trouble at all to put a voice-activated recorder on top of the buffet in the kitchen. I was going to put it on the refrigerator but was afraid the vibration would be recorded. After work, I went with Gary to his place and retrieved it.
The first two days I got nothing but chit-chat, but I was determined, so I kept it up. The third day was the eye-opener.
The first thirty minutes of the tape was standard talk about everyday, boring stuff. I wanted to fast-forward through it, but I was afraid I would miss something. Finally, Amy broke the ice.
"We have to wrap this up soon girls. I can't keep Thom-Thom waiting for too long."
"Oh boy, am I jealous." Cathy chimed in. "I never get to play with anyone like pony-boy."
He's not that big. Just bigger than normal, or anything else I've seen."
There were a lot of giggles around the table.
I could make out Julie next, "-Just how big is big, Amy? Is it eight, nine, ten, or bigger?"
"I never measured it, you idiots, but I would guess about ten."
Cathy had to ask next. "Doesn't it hurt?"
"Only when he puts it in my back door. I can only do that about once a week."
That brought the table to a good laugh.
"Today is Marcie's motel afternoon, too. Boy, I feel neglected. I don't think I can wait until tomorrow to go to the mall." Cathy faked a little sob.
"I can't believe Marcie got a tattoo on her butt with his name on it," Julie said.
"You have to look close to see the name. It sort of blends in with the design on the butterfly wing. How did she explain it to Cecil?"
"She said she got it for him," replied Cathy. That was followed by another round of snickers. "So Julie and I are going to be celibate today, but we will make up for it tomorrow. Where are you going to go, Julie?"
"Jerry is off tomorrow, so we will just go to his apartment. It's nice that he lives alone."
"Go, girls. Get out of here. I have to get down to the gym before Thom-Thom runs out of steam." You could tell Amy was anxious.
That was about it for the tape, but after playing it several times, I was able to piece a lot of things together. I called in sick the next day. Luckily, I didn't have any court appearances.
That night, I checked the computer and found no secret e-mails or anything. I also checked the calls in and out of her cell phone and there was nothing. I checked the last two months' cell phone records and saw nothing to indicate that she was cheating. I left for work as usual but pulled over down the street from the condo to wait for her. It was a long wait, but just before noon, she left the house for the mall.
I had a pretty good idea where she was going, so I didn't have to follow her too closely. She parked near the center access to the mall. As she walked toward the entrance she was fumbling around inside her purse. She pulled out a small red, flip-phone and made a call. Her normal cell phone is silver and this was the first time I saw the red one. She stopped at the entrance, turned, and looked across the parking lot,- not too well, apparently, because she didn't see me. After going down the long entrance corridor, she made a right turn down the main part of the mall. She stopped several times and looked back but, still didn't see me. I watched her enter Sears and go towards the service area in the rear. She stopped the last time, looked around, and went out to the pick-up and loading area. By the time I got there, I just caught a glimpse of a blue Ford Explorer leaving. She was in it.
I was pretty sure she would be gone for a while, so I stopped at the food court, and had some lunch. After picking up a couple of magazines, I drove around to the back of Sears and parked so I could watch people coming in and out of the pick-up area. My car was pretty common looking, so I didn't have to worry about being noticed. About two hours later, the blue SUV drove into the pick-up lane, and Cathy got out. She made a few remarks, smiled, and went into Sears. I had no trouble getting the license number. I went down to work and ran the plate. The blue Explorer belonged to Bobby Gerhard, the salesman who sold us Cathy's Focus six months ago. I went home at my normal time, and Cathy had supper ready, as usual. That night she was feeling a little frisky, but I claimed I had a headache.
I had to go to work the next day and do some catching up. I didn't think she would be seeing Bobby two days in a row. However, the day after, I left work for an early lunch and drove to the parking lot at the rear of Sears. Right on schedule, Bobby pulled up and my wife jumped into the SUV. I followed them to the Rainbow Motel. He didn't have to go into the office, because he already had a key. They both walked into room 114 like they had done it a hundred times before. I found myself crying as I drove back to work. As Cathy was getting ready for bed that night, I found the red cell phone in the lining of her purse. It was a pre-paid cell with one pre-set number labeled BG.
It was time to come back to reality. I was the only one of the men left, who hadn't been humiliated. Of course, I was the only one who had any idea that the humiliation truly was going on in reality. I could tell that Amy was getting ready to say something smart and I held up my hand.
"Sorry girls, but it is time for John to go home. I am sure you will be able to belittle these half-drunk idiots for a while longer, but I do not intend to participate today. I bid you all good night. I'll see you when you get home, Cathy."
There was a little uprising among the troops. I don't know who was doing the most talking, the girls or the guys. Universally, they were looking for some kind of explanation, which I had not given.
"What do you mean, John? We are not belittling anyone here. What kind of bullshit are you making up? This is all good fun." My wife said that to me with a straight face.
"Not true, sweetie. You and the other girls have been making fun of us every week. It gets meaner and meaner each time we get together. It is bad enough you are all cheating on your husbands, but it stinks when you choose to rub it in our faces."
At that point, the group got silent. The guys looked stunned and the girls appeared to be somewhere between pissed and apprehensive.
"John, we are all having a good time. This is why we get together. If you have something on your mind, just say it. It sounds like you are mad at the world and taking it out on us." Cathy was trying to bring some calm to the gathering, but I felt she was adding to the humiliation.
"I can't speak for the other guys here, but if you want me to dump all our dirty laundry on the table, I will, but you have to be ready for the consequences."
"What consequences and what dirty laundry are you talking about? You are so full of shit John Terrell. Go ahead and tell everybody your fantasies so we can have a good laugh." Cathy had a confident smirk on her face as she laid down the dare.
"Gary, Raymond, and Cecil, I apologize ahead of time for anything I say that causes strife in your families. I won't speak of any of your problems, but I will expose mine. You can confront your wives when you are ready, but I assure you they are just as guilty as Cathy."
The whole table sat quietly waiting. The guys looked awe-stricken and the girls seemed a little nervous but still arrogant.
"Cathy has been meeting her boyfriend for several months now. She leaves the house and goes to the mall, where she calls him on her secret, red, cell phone that she keeps in her purse lining. The only preloaded number on the phone is to BG. That happens to be Bobby Gerhard, the car salesman who sold us the Focus about six months ago. She walks through the mall and Bobby picks her up behind Sears in his big blue SUV. They usually spend a couple of hours at the Rainbow Motel before Bobby drops her off at Sears, to come home. Cathy gets to enjoy fabulous sex with Bobby, several days a week and gets to rub it my face, in front of everybody, on the weekend. She thinks this is fun. Do you need any more details darling? Maybe next week, I can have pictures or videos."
Everyone was stone silent until all of a sudden Cathy lurched forward and threw up all over the table. The combination of hot dogs, potato chips, and beer, did not look nearly as appetizing the second time around. She swung around in her seat and continued to vomit until there was nothing more coming up. Finally, Amy and Marcie grabbed her and walked with her back to Cecil and Marcie's condo unit.
"That was rotten, John. It was a mean and hateful thing to do." Julie was gathering up a few things before joining the girls.
"Yes, but was it true?"
"Go to hell, you son of a bitch." Julie closed the door behind her and left me there with a silent bunch of stunned morons.
I grabbed a hose that was close by and started to clean off the whole area as the guys collected things together. I had not anticipated that reaction from her. I thought she would be defensive or angry but never sick.
"John. Sit down, damn it, and talk to us." I could tell Gary was a little pissed off.
We moved over to a dry table and Cecil brought the beer cooler.
"What exactly do you want to know? I can tell you very little about what your wives are doing. I spent all my time checking out Cathy. If you want to find out anything about them you are going to have to do it yourself as I did."
Raymond handed everyone a new beer. "Can you at least give us a clue? Maybe you can tell us what led you to believe they were cheating at all."
"I can give you each a little something, but you cannot confront your wife with this information. You have to get the proof you will need by finding it someplace else. I don't have all the answers, but if you try and force your spouses to admit to an affair, you are asking for trouble. Get the facts first, like I did, before you do anything."
Gary looked dejected. "I don't know if I can do that John. I'll try but I don't see how?"
Cecil was getting anxious. "Come on, John, give us something."
"Each of you is getting teased by the girls differently. They are right in your face with how they are cheating. Marcie is having an affair with a guy she works with. I don' t know who, but she got a tattoo on her butt for him. His name is in the wing of the butterfly. I think he is Italian."
"Julie is meeting with a guy named Jerry, who works at the Winn-Dixie. They go to his apartment on his days off. That's all I know about them".
"Gary, I hate to say it, but Amy is getting it, several times a week, with a trainer at the health club. She calls him Thom-Thom because he has a really big dick. That's all I know guys."
They did not look happy. Raymond looked pissed. Cecil looked sad and Gary looked like he was going to fall apart.
"I am not going to be able to do it, John." Gary blubbered.
"Do what?"
"I am not going to be able to not say anything."
"You have to, damn it. All of you have to. I gave you enough info to start looking into things but not enough to confront them. Stay cool until you know more. They are nervous now because of what I did to Cathy. They might get very defensive. Wait and play it smart."
We finished our beers. No one wanted to talk any more. I went back to our condo to take a shower. Cecil stayed outside and had another beer. The girls were all at his place, and he didn't want to go home. A short time later, I saw him get into his car and drive off. I don't know where Raymond and Gary went. After my shower, I fell asleep on the sofa.
It was about eight PM when I heard a frantic knocking at the door. I stumbled, half asleep to answer it.
"John put your shoes on. We have to take Amy to the hospital."
Julie was standing at the door holding Amy at her side. Amy was holding a bloody towel to the left side of her face.
"What the hell happened?"
"Gary and Amy were arguing. Gary slugged Amy and she fell and hit her head on the corner of the coffee table. He flew out the door before realizing she was hurt."
"How bad is it? Is the hospital necessary?" By this time, I was helping Julie get Amy to my car.
"When she hit the corner of the table her eye popped out of the socket. It is just hanging there. We are afraid to try to put it back in, and think it is better to see a doctor."
"Good choice."
It was only a ten-minute drive to the hospital. Everything was quiet for the first five minutes.
"It's all your damn fault, John. If you had kept your mouth shut this never would have happened. Spouting off as you did was a mean and cruel thing to do. I don't know what you told the guys after we left, but apparently, it didn't help the situation any. We haven't seen Cecil or Raymond all afternoon, and I am pretty sure that Amy wishes she hadn't seen Gary."
"Sorry, you see it that way, Julie. I am not the one that caused the problem, I just brought it out in the open. If you want to place blame, put it on you women who cheated on their husbands."
"Go to hell, you bastard." Luckily we had arrived at the emergency room entrance before the conversation got any hotter.
I parked the car while Julie helped Amy get checked in. When I got into the reception area, Amy was already being taken care of. Julie was busy filling out paperwork. I didn't know what to do, so I just sat there. When she was done at the admissions counter, Julie called Amy's parents and asked them to come down. Then she called Marcie and gave her an update. I was trying to look inconspicuous. To be honest, I did feel a little guilty. I should have realized how unstable Gary was. I guess it was my fault after all. I felt he should know but I wasn't trying to provoke him. Things just didn't work out well.
I noticed that Julie was down the hall talking on a payphone. I was wondering why she was using the payphone when she had a perfectly good cell phone. About that time, my cell rang.
"John, it's Gary. I need your help?"
"Where the hell are you? What did you do, you idiot?"
"I am down at the police station. I am getting ready to turn myself in and wanted to talk to you first. Amy and I argued about her affair and I went berserk. I went down to the gym and beat up that trainer she had been messing around with. I hurt him pretty badly, John, and I think I need your help."
"It's worse than that Gary. When you hit Amy, she fell and struck her head on the corner of the coffee table. She hurt her eye pretty bad. We are at the hospital right now."
"John, I only hit her twice and it was with an open hand. I didn't slug her or anything. I left right after I hit her so that I wouldn't hurt her."
"Too late, Gary. How bad is the guy at the gym?"
"Real bad. I called 911 for him on my way down here. They will probably take him to the emergency room also. I'm sorry John."
"I'll be there as soon as I can, Gary."
Amy's parents and Raymond arrived at that moment. Raymond asked me where Julie was, and I pointed down towards the payphones. Julie was not there. He looked around a while and then came back, shrugging his shoulders. Amy's parents went into the room where she was being looked after.
I gave Raymond a quick run-down as to what happened and then left for the police station. He said he would stick around and wait for Julie. As I was going out, I ran into Marcie. She said she had taken Cathy to her parent's house. The ambulance was bringing in a bloody mess that I assumed was the famous Thom-Thom.
It took about two hours to get things settled at the police station. They agreed to hold Gary at the station until I could arrange bail on Monday morning. In addition to beating the crap out of Thom-Thom, Gary kicked his private parts pretty bad, and then for some reason, smashed his right hand with a bar-bell. He couldn't explain why he did that. Raymond was at the house when I got there. He looked for Julie for about an hour at the hospital, and then went home. She was gone and had taken her clothes and personal stuff with her. I told him that he was welcome to stay the night with me. Things were not going well.
Marcie woke us up the next morning and demanded to know where Cecil was. He had not come home. After convincing her we didn't know, Raymond and I went out for breakfast.
When I got back to the house, Cathy's mother was there. Cathy wanted to stay with them awhile, and she came to pick up some of her stuff. We gathered together enough for her to get by on. At this point, I didn't think Cathy would be coming back, so I told my mother-in-law that I would bring the rest of her things over next week. She said she understood and apologized for the problem. She sounded sincere. I assumed that Cathy told her parents what happened.
Amy's parents took her home with them. The doctor got her eye back in the socket, but could not get it to function properly. The emergency room doctors felt certain that some attention by specialists could correct it.
I had Gary out on bail the next morning. He gave me a complete rundown of what happened. It was pretty cut and dry. He confronted Amy. She denied everything. He hit her with an open hand, and she confessed to the affair and told him who it was. She tried to stop him as he was going out the door, and he shoved her. She hit her head, but Gary didn't know it till later. The gym was open late Saturday, and Gary had no trouble finding Thom-Thom. He made the mistake of smirking at Gary and insinuating it was Gary's fault for not taking care of things at home. The muscle-bound hulk was no match for the gentle giant, and Gary beat the crap out of him. He knew why he kicked him in his gonads, but he could not explain why he smashed his hand with a bar-bell. On the way to the police station, Gary called 911 to get help for Thom-Thom.
When we got to the condo, Amy's parents were waiting to pick up her stuff. Gary and I helped load everything. Amy's mother was mad and would not look at, or talk to Gary. He tried to apologize to her in vain. Amy's father, however, took Gary aside and consoled him a little. He seemed to understand what motivated him to do what he did. Amy was not coming back and was going to file for divorce. This didn't seem to help Gary's depression.
I did not see Cecil for a couple of days. When I called his workstation, they said he took a week of sick leave. I also didn't see Marcie and assumed she went to work as usual.
When I finally got to work, I explained that I would be tied up with personal problems over the next few days, and got some of the staff to take over my current workload. The first order of business was to contact the Burbank Health Club headquarters in Omaha and explain the situation, including the pending lawsuit that Gary would be filing. They had twenty-three clubs in ten states. They called back an hour later and arranged for a meeting at our place the next morning. There was a little bluff working here, but I had to try something.
Raymond stopped in later that afternoon. Julie had been using her credit card to buy gas, food, and a motel room along I-95 South. He canceled all the credit cards and her cell phone account. Jerry Merchant had not shown up for his job as the Produce Manager at the local Winn-Dixie. They were not able to reach him at his home. Now I know who Julie called from the hospital payphone. She decided it was easier to just leave than to face Raymond. I guess it was a good move on her part.
Shortly thereafter, Cecil showed up. He had been a busy bee. He found out that Marcie was seeing a guy she worked with named Frank Marcel. He was married, so Cecil called his home phone number. He talked to Frank's wife and arranged a meeting, at noon the next day, in the mall food court. She insisted on seeing him in a public place. Cecil asked me to go with him to make sure he didn't do anything stupid. Cecil had not seen or talked to Marcie since Saturday. The three of us went to Red Lobster for supper and had Gary meet us there.
It was a somber meal. None of the guys wanted to talk about what happened. Maybe if we didn't discuss it, it would go away. Dream on. After eating, Gary and Raymond went home and I don't know where Cecil ended up. I called Cathy's parent's house when I got home. Cathy didn't want to talk to me. I spent the rest of the night packing up her stuff. Tomorrow would be a busy day.
"Good morning, my name is John Terrell. Let's get started."
I was looking at Kevin and Kyle Burbank and their lawyer Phil Mertz.
"Gentlemen, there is no doubt that Gary Wilson physically injured Thom Reichert. What I think is important is the extenuating circumstances."
"What are the circumstances, Mr. Terrell?" Phil Mertz was speaking for the brothers, apparently, which was a good move.
"Mr. Reichert was having an open affair with Amy Wilson for several months and was boasting about it." I had no proof of that but was just taking a shot. "On the night of the attack, Mr. Reichert was bragging to Mr. Wilson that he was giving Amy the sexual satisfaction she was not getting at home. It appears that he was trying to provoke Mister Wilson, which turned out to be a mistake on his part."
"What is this leading to Mr. Terrell?"
"Gary Wilson will be suing Thom Reichert and Burbank Health Clubs for seven figures. It will be a messy lawsuit, and very public. I can assure you a lot of husbands will be looking into their wives ' memberships. We will not mention the hidden video and still cameras in the massage and tanning rooms unless it becomes necessary." I was taking another long shot. I had no idea if there were any cameras, but I figured they didn't know for sure either.
There was silence across the table. It was as if they had heard this story before and none of it was a surprise. It was new to me, but I am not in the health club business. "Can we have a few minutes mister Terrell?" I nodded to mister Mertz and left the room. I would like to say I had the room bugged and heard every word they said, but that is not true.
A few minutes later they waved me back in. "What are you offering as a compromise?"
"Very simply: drop any charges against my client and relocate Mr. Reichert to another facility, out of state, and it will all go away."
There was a sigh of relief on all three faces. Mr. Mertz simply nodded. We all stood, shook hands, and it was over. They flew halfway across the country for a twenty-minute meeting and seemed happy about it.
Gary was very happy when I told him the good news, however, Amy was not dropping any charges. She had filed a civil suit for domestic abuse and didn't seem to mind that her infidelity would be made public. I had to work on that.
By the time I got to the mall, Cecil was sitting at a table in the middle of the room with a woman I assumed, to be Frank Marcel's wife. There were two very large men standing nearby who waved me over. The three of us just stood and watched. Cecil was doing a great job. He didn't need me at all. The two lugs were Frank's brothers-in-law, who were not happy. Mrs. Marcel and Cecil shook hands and smiled after twenty minutes. Cecil and I had lunch while we were there. I was curious as hell, but Cecil didn't volunteer anything, so I didn't ask.
That evening I took Cathy's things to her parent's house. She was there when I arrived, gave me a small smile, and left the room. I left without talking to any of them.
Time passed. Amy refused to drop charges against Gary and we ended up going to trial. It was messy, and Amy did not come out looking too good. In addition to the public humiliation, her appearance did not get better, in spite of the eye surgeries. It looked like it would be a permanent disfiguration. That got her some jury sympathy, which I could not counter. Gary got three years, but he didn't seem to break up about it. Amy also filed for divorce.
Jerry Merchant was charged with stealing grocery store receipts from a market in Pensacola, where he was working. He was caught with a female accomplice in Mississippi and returned to Florida for trial. Raymond, who passed his detectives exam, filed for divorce that week.
Bobby Gerhard was transferred to a Ford sales office in Toledo and three months later was terminated.
Cecil never moved back in with Marcie. He successfully avoided Marcie for several weeks until he got a post-office transfer to the island of Rota, near Guam. He was in charge of the entire postal operation for Rota and the surrounding islands. Marcie still lived in the condo complex. I imagine that Cecil had gone back to the condo while she was at work, and removed all his stuff. Shortly after Cecil moved, Marcie had a small, but a painful problem. Two men grabbed her as she was leaving work and removed the butterfly tattoo from her hip with an electric sander. Of course, they never got the guys, and Marcie would not reveal any motive. As I understand, the wound got infected and caused her great grief. She also lost her job for some reason. I never asked. The last I heard of Marcie, she left on a flight to Guam and never showed up. No one has heard from, or about, her since. Cecil recently got promoted and is now in charge of mail service on all of the outlying islands around Guam.
Raymond has moved to Miami and is now a Miami-Dade detective. The last time I heard from him he seemed happy. Julie is in jail somewhere in Florida.
Gary started teaching welding to the inmates while he was incarcerated. It went over so well, that he was offered a full-time job. He was released after a year. Gary loves his new job. He is no longer married to Amy. Amy still has a lazy eye.
As for Cathy and me, we never got back together. I would go over to see her, and she would always smile and leave the room. Her parents said she never went out and did not seem interested in anything anymore. After six months, I filed for a non-contested divorce.
I think the guys came out of this whole affair OK. I don't think the wives did too well. I don't miss the Saturday get-togethers.
