REUNION (THE HORROR) by BillandKate
Who would have thought that the birth of my first grandchild would lead to the possible destruction of my 24-year marriage to Jane?
I'm sitting in the back of this rented utility van, just up the street from my daughter's home; hoping what happens next doesn't finish what I considered a very loving and wonderful marriage. According to my daughter Sarah, Jane typically goes for a long jog around noon on the days she visits her grandson. Sarah says Jane comes back after an hour or so and looks fairly flushed from her workout. I'm here to see what Jane's workout consists of.
My name is Bill Jones and until a month ago I was living the dream. My business is doing great, I'm 47 years old and part owner of a fabrication plant that is on the cusp of a new patent that will revolutionize one of the plastic extrusion processes. If everything goes according to plan, I stand to make a few million on the patent even after sharing the profits with my co-inventor and the five investors who backed our development.
Besides my worklife, I thought my personal life was everything I could ask for. As I said, my wife seemed to love me and our life together. We have one child, Sarah, who we're both very proud to call our daughter.
Sarah met, married and got pregnant to a wonderful man ten years her senior right after graduating from the U. The funny thing about Sarah is how easily she's taken to motherhood and being a full-time homemaker. Here's a girl (woman really, but she'll always be my girl) that graduated with honors and had every intention of taking the financial world by storm. Sarah's graduation present from her mom and me was a full six weeks of touring Europe; it was her reward for finishing college in three years (saving us a bundle); bucking it up while most of her peers spent spring and summer breaks on the beach.
Sarah met her future husband in Europe, she claims it was love at first sight; something she wouldn't have considered possible before that first evening in Madrid. She also claims it was fate, Jim Taylor was from Jane's hometown of Olympia. When Sarah returned from her European tour she moved into her grandparents' house (Jane's folks) and within six months she was engaged to Jim, within eighteen months she was married and pregnant with our first grandchild. Jane couldn't have been more excited; she immediately cut her hours at work so she could spend time with Sarah and the baby.
OK, so now you know my worklife is great, I'm a very happy papa/grandpa/father-in-law. That brings us to my marriage to Jane.
Jane and I met at the University of Washington. I was a senior and Jane had transferred in from Washington State. We had a class together, one of those entry level classes required to graduate. Jane was, and still is, a very attractive woman. She's 5'8", athletically built, she's been a runner since high school, with a great smile and beautiful hazel eyes. I was smitten the first day I saw her, but our few conversations after class led me to back off since she seemed reserved. By the time the quarter ended I worked up enough courage and she accepted my invitation to go out. One date led to another and things were looking good for a long-term romance.
I found out the reason for her reservation after our third or fourth date. She was getting over a very bad break up, Jane caught the boy she dated for two years in high school and two years at WSU in bed with another girl. Jane humiliated herself by accepting his indiscretion for almost three months before finally giving him an ultimatum, he had to choose. This guy was pretty full of himself by this time and blatantly chose both, suggesting a three way. Jane had enough, left school soon after and transferred to the U. I guess that made me a rebound romance. The subject seemed to hurt Jane and it was never brought up again.
I'm fairly certain Jane and I had a pretty good marriage and that she was a faithful, loving wife for the next twenty-three years. Although there were minor disagreements from time to time, we never went to bed without working those problems out and at least kissing each other good-night. I never strayed; sure I looked sometimes, but was never tempted to ruin a good thing by crossing that line. Jane caught me once and a while eyeing a woman at the beach or on the dance floor. She'd lightly slug my shoulder and say, "Remember, you can look, but not for too long and never touch!" She always did this with a smile and a gleam in those eyes.
So, what happened?
When Sarah had her son, William (yea, named after me), Jane decided she needed to spend time with Sarah and Bill, Jr. (as we call him). One day a week Jane would get in her car and drive sixty miles from our home in North Seattle to Olympia; not far by measured miles, but anyone who's driven that stretch knows it takes hours going from point A to point B. After a couple of months of driving back and forth in the same day and with winter coming on, Sarah bought a day bed and put it in their study so Jane could spend the night; Jane could drive south in the morning of the first day and come home prior to rush hour on the second. I used the evenings Jane was away to work on the patent. This new routine worked out so well that Jane continued to stay overnight in Olympia even after the weather improved the next spring.
Saturday, June 27th was Bill Junior's first birthday; Sarah and Jim planned a bar-b-que in their large backyard to celebrate the event. Two minor incidents occurred during the picnic, both played a role in putting the pieces of this mystery together.
I was sitting in a nice lounge chair having a cold beer when Jim and Sarah joined me. They caught me staring at Jane. Jim was the first to speak.
"You're a lucky man, Dad. I must admit that I took my father's advice and looked at Sarah's mother to see how my future wife would look when she's 40 before proposing."
Sarah gave him a slug on the shoulder, just like her mom always did to me. "You pig; I can't believe you'd say such a thing. What if my mother wasn't such a babe? Would you have dumped me?"
I tried to save Jim. "It's true Sarah. I did the same thing - one look at your grandmother convinced me that your mom was a keeper."
With that Sarah gave me a punch on my shoulder. "OK Dad, but what are we girls supposed to do, look at your fathers? In that case I better like looking at a shiny bald head."
The three of us looked over at Jim's dad manning the bar-b-que and laughed. Jim's dad is a great guy and good looking, but he's fighting the male baldness thing by letting his hair grow and trying to comb it over. Right now the wind was blowing it around and he looked like a certain future president.
"Well, anyway you're right Jim, I'm a lucky man. How many men are married to a 45 year-old woman that has the body of a 30 year-old?"
Sarah replied. "She should be in good shape with all the running she does. Every day she's here Mom takes off by noon and spends at least an hour running to the waterfront and back. I don't know how she can do it."
"Yea, she runs at least four days a week at home. Once or twice a week I go out with her and she runs me ragged. She'll do four miles at a seven-minute mile pace. I think she's going to try for the half-marathon this fall. You have to hand it to her."
About this time Jim's dad Jeff called everyone over and started serving the grilled corn-on-the-cob and burgers, including some surprisingly good vegi-burgers; the first I've ever tasted. I sat with Jeff and Jim; we compared work notes, Jeff had a restaurant supply business and he was grooming Jim to take over when it was time to retire in ten years or so.
After the meal I went inside to grab a few beers for the three of us and just before I walked out the patio door something caught my eye in the house behind Jim and Sarah's. I took a step back into the house and focused my eyes. Sure enough, Jim and Sarah's backyard neighbor was standing at an upstairs window looking over into our yard with a set of binoculars. I couldn't tell for certain, but it looked as if he was watching the table where Jane, Sarah and Jim's mom were sitting. Creepy. As I moved back through the patio door, the neighbor quickly lowered the binoculars and stepped back from the window.
"Jim, what's the deal with the neighbor behind you. I just saw him staring over here with binoculars."
Both Jim and Jeff took their beers and gave me a look like, 'what the hell?'.
"That's Allen Ross, he's actually a salesman for one of our main vendors and the guy gives me the creeps. We had a neighborhood watch block party last year and even though the guy doesn't live on our block, he shows up. Everyone thought it was a bit strange. I caught him more than once staring at Sarah, so I went over and talked to him. He of course recognized me, was surprised we were neighbors and apologized, he said Sarah reminded him of someone he knew back in high school. I let it go, but it was strange."
"Well, I hope you keep the curtains in your back bedroom closed. What an asshole."
But something about this rang a small bell in my head.
It was a long afternoon and by the time Jane and I headed home, I forgot about the kids' neighbor. It wasn't until Sunday morning when I remembered. Jane was out on one of her runs and I was having my second cup of coffee so I went over to the bookcase and pulled out one of Jane's high school yearbooks; we keep all that nostalgic stuff with the photo albums in the den. I looked up the name Allen Ross and much to my surprise there was a handwritten note in the margin.
Jane
It's been two great years with you - and just as your favorite song says - we've only just begun. I am looking forward to next year at WSU and all the years after. Your love forever,
Al
So, it was Jane's old boyfriend that was living right behind Sarah and Jim. Did she know? If she knew, why didn't she say anything? These and dozens of other questions swirled around in my head until Jane came home and took her shower. By the time she came downstairs I had a fruit and yogurt smoothie waiting for her. As usual, Jane had that fresh, flushed and glowing look about her; she looked so beautiful, I almost chickened out, but I sucked in my breath and asked the million dollar question.
"Jane, do you know an Allen Ross?"
Jane's answer was so fluid; in retrospect, it's almost as if she anticipated the question and was ready with her answer.
"I knew an Alan Ross in high school. We even dated for a while. Why do you ask?"
Jane's answer took me by surprise and I decided to play the rest of the hand close to the vest.
"He lives behind Sarah and Jim. When Jim caught Ross looking at Sarah, he called him out and Ross said she reminded him of a girl he knew in high school. Given how much Sarah looks like you at that age, I wondered if you weren't the girl he was talking about."
"It could be, but why bring it up? Did something happen?"
"Not really, but I think I saw him watching us from his house yesterday. It just seemed a little odd, that's all."
Then events cascaded to this moment with me sitting in this rented van.
First, the next time I went into the den, Jane's senior year yearbook was no longer on the shelf. It was like a punch to the stomach; I had to sit down in my leather chair and catch my breathe. What the hell is going on? That's when Sarah's comment at yesterday's lunch came screaming back to my brain. "Every day Mom takes off for an hour to run..." The implications were too awful to contemplate. My Jane, with another man?
Should I confront Jane? Should I talk to Sarah? Or maybe hire a private detective?
I remember reading something where someone asked the question, "You have to ask yourself, will you be better off without her?" I didn't think I could tolerate Jane's adultery, but would I divorce her? That's a question I couldn't answer that night, especially with what little information I had. I went upstairs, took a sleeping pill and went to bed. I don't even remember if I kissed Jane good-night, but I must have because she didn't bring it up Monday at breakfast.
For the next two days things were way too hectic at work to consider my personal issues. Our investors were in town Monday and Tuesday to chart our progress on the patent. It would be impossible to answer their questions and at the same time try to come up with a plan of action related to my marriage. I'd have plenty of time once the investors left Tuesday afternoon. I sucked it up and got to work.
Late Tuesday afternoon I dropped the investors off at SeaTac, as I headed back to the house I called Jane's cell, she was spending Tuesday and Wednesday at Sarah's. When Jane didn't answer her cell I called Sarah.
"Sarah, hi. I tried to call your mom but she didn't pick up. Is she there?"
"No, Dad. Mom went over to Cindy Sullivan's tonight. I think she's an old classmate of Mom's."
"Funny she never talked about her before. Is this a regular thing with Cindy?"
"Not regular, maybe every few weeks she goes and meets someone she knew when she lived here. She's usually home by ten unless she's had too much wine and spends the night. Mom says it's always nice to get together with the women she grew up with, she says she still feels closer to the small town girls than she does to the women up in Seattle. After living here in Olympia for the past three years I can see her point."
"Yea, it's too bad your mom never really clicked with the Nordstrom crowd, she always has been more comfortable in jeans and boots. Maybe when I retire we can make that happen."
"Make it soon Dad. Jim and I are planning to have more babies and it would be nice if all four of their grandparents lived close by."
"Sarah, you never cease to amaze me. I never dreamed my ambitious little go-getter would be talking about having a passel of kids."
"Just found my dream-guy and found out I like being a mom. You and Mom can take most of the blame."
"OK Sarah. I'm pulling into the drive now. It's a nice night and I think I'm going to jump on the Harley and take a long ride this evening. Tell your mother I won't be answering my phone because I'm on the bike. Goodnight."
"Goodnight Dad - ride safe."
It was a nice night for a ride and I had a destination in mind for this evening's ride.
By the time I pulled into Allen Ross's neighborhood it was dark. Just enough light as I rode slowly past his house to see a red Mustang Boss 429 in the drive in front of the two-car garage and no sign of Jane's Volvo. I was just about ready to give the bike some throttle when something made me pause. The license plate was one of those vanity plates the state sold for a premium. It had a WSU Cougar emblem on the plate and the license number was ROSS-BOSS. Why would a guy park his expensive sports car in the drive instead of in the garage?
I rode a block and a half down the street to a school. It had one of those circular drives in front for the school buses. I parked the bike and pretended to do some repairs on the Harley, I had the seat off, just in case. I kept an eye on Ross's house while I pretended to fiddle away. Lucky thing, too. Olympia is still a small enough town that a guy on a motorcycle can attract attention. Within a half hour a police officer stopped nearby.
"Need anything?"
"Not really, but thanks for asking officer. I thought maybe I had a short in the electrical system, but it turns out the last mechanic didn't tighten the negative cable on the battery. I'm just finishing up and I'll be gone in ten minutes." I made certain to look the officer in the eye while we chatted.
"What'd ya going to do if that doesn't fix it?"
"My daughter and her husband live on Third. I'll just walk it down there. But I think I have it. Thanks again."
The cop took off but I saw him cruise by a few streets down when I was putting on my helmet. The bike was started and the headlight was on, so he left me alone. It was very dark now and Ross's Mustang hadn't moved.
The next bit was going to be tricky and maybe more than embarrassing if I was wrong and got caught. I started toward Ross's house with enough speed to cut the engine and coast to the front of his house. I stopped the bike, ran up the driveway and had to get on my toes to look inside the garage through the windows near the top of the garage door. On the right side was a Mercedes S-Class Convertible and on the left side was my wife's Volvo.
I don't know how I did it, maybe the past three days led me to believe that I'd find exactly what I did find and it wasn't as much of a surprise, but I had the presence of mind to jog back to the Harley, fire it up and take off like a bat out of hell. I rode for twenty minutes, pulled into a tavern near the military base and took out my cell. This time Jane picked up.
"Hi Bill, Sarah said you were out riding tonight. Are you home?"
"Almost. How about you, what are you up to?"
"I'm over at Cindy Sullivan's, an old friend from grade and high school. I think I'll end up spending the night here, I've had a couple glasses of wines and I think I'm over the limit. I feel OK, just don't want to take a chance."
"That's good thinking. Listen, I needed to talk to you tonight because the meeting with the investors ran into a couple of snags. I'm flying out tomorrow and won't be back until this all gets straightened out. Sorry to spring this on you at the last minute."
"Oh Bill, I'm going to miss you. If you're going to be out of town, is it OK if I stay here in Olympia until you get back? You know how much I hate staying home by myself."
"No, you go ahead and stay with Sarah. I'll give you a heads-up before flying home. It should be Saturday at the latest. Bye"
"Bye Bill, I love you."
Damn - why did she have to go and say that? It just made her betrayal that much worse.
I really wasn't going out of town of course. I just didn't want to deal with Jane while I set up the rest of my life. I rode home trying to see through a couple of misty eyes. I don't think I'm a pussy, but I'm not ashamed to say a few tears fell and quite a few curse words crossed my lips while thinking about twenty-five years with the woman I loved more than myself, the mother of my daughter and the grandmother of our beautiful grandson. I wondered if my life would ever be happy again.
Wednesday I called my business partner, explained the situation and told him I'd be out for a few days. He was sympathetic and said the usual nice things to commiserate, but deep down he was probably thinking how this would affect our deal. I can't say I blame him if that's really what was on his mind; we were so close to making a small fortune and here I am dumping a load on top of it.
Then a call to our lawyer for a reference for a divorce attorney, making certain he knew it had to be a very good one, maybe the best. There was no way I would split millions with a cheating whore who may end up with an asshole, spending my money on cars and whatever.
The attorney I was referred to understood the urgency of the situation and agreed to meet me that evening in his office. He was upfront about it, I could count on paying him a handsome premium for the after-hours meeting, to clear his calendar and to expedite the paperwork, but he assured me it would be worth my money.
I checked into a local hotel (just in case she talked to a neighbor) and called Jane at noon. Of course she didn't answer; whether she was actually running or was jumping Ross's bones at that moment was irrelevant. I just wanted to avoid any conversation. I left her a message that I'd be tied up in meetings, but would call her tonight.
When I met with the attorney that evening he had his act together; obviously not his first time dealing with this situation. He listened to my tale of woe and my desire for going forward without getting scalped. He said the paperwork would be ready by Friday morning and gave me the 'getting separated' checklist. Accounts to close, items to label, how I wanted to handle notifying Jane, etc., etc. When he heard my plan for giving Jane the divorce papers, he started to shake his head. I assured him I could do it without ending up in jail. He said he still advised against it, but he could understand my motivation.
"Just don't be stupid!"
Thursday I went down the checklist. One credit card was left open, the one Jane carried, but the credit line was reduced from thirty thousand to ten thousand dollars. We paid off the balance every month, so there was little danger this would alert Jane before the day of reckoning.
Friday morning at 8 am I was sitting in the attorney's lobby. He almost smiled when he walked in the door. He went right to his desk and handed me the envelop sitting there with my name on it. I signed where I needed to and he reminded me as I walked out the door, "Remember, I said don't be stupid."
I drove to the rental car office at SeaTac on my way south to Olympia and drove away with a white utility van. Here I sit down the block from Allen Ross's house (on the side furthest from the school, didn't want to get picked up as a pervert), waiting to see if this is the day my marriage blows up forever.
At 11:45 Jane comes around the corner wearing her jogging gear. She heads toward Ross's house, up the steps, reaches under a planter and lets herself in the door; just like it's her home. At 11:55 Allen Ross pulls up in his Mercedes and parks in the garage.
At 11:56 I drive the van over to Sarah's house. Sarah is surprised to see me, but not as surprised as when I tell her why I'm there. I tried to tell her in a way that wouldn't shock her, but that's probably being unrealistic. I asked her to call her husband Jim and meet us at home as soon as he could get away. I knew when this was over that Sarah would need Jim's strength.
"No Dad, no. That just can't be true. Mom loves you. She'd never cheat on you and I can't be that stupid; if she was cheating, I'd know. You must have it all wrong."
"Sarah, I'd give anything for it not to be true. I loved your mother for over twenty-five years. Damn, we were going to celebrate our twenty-fifth anniversary next year. But let me tell you what I saw."
I told Sarah all the evidence I had so far. Sarah remained reluctant to believe. We picked Bill Junior out of his crib and took Sarah's car with Junior in his car seat around the corner and parked in front of Allen Ross's house. Sarah stayed in the car while I went to the front door with the manila envelope.
I had to ring and knock before the shithead answered the door in his bathrobe.
"Who the fuck are you?" Pleasant guy.
"I'm Jane's husband, can you please call her to come to the door. I want to talk to her."
He stood there with his mouth hanging open, he tried to shut the door, but I was prepared for that and stuck my foot in the jamb; it hurt like hell, but kept the door open. I busted it open with my shoulder and yelled inside, "Jane, come here right now!"
Ross kept pushing on the door but it wasn't doing him any good because now my torso was in the way. I kept yelling for Jane to come to the door. I don't know how, but I kept my cool and didn't threaten either Ross or Jane; but I did keep shouting for her to come to the door.
When Jane finally appeared, she had her jogging gear back on, I'm assuming she was naked when Ross answered the door. She had a frightened look in those eyes I loved.
"Bill, what's going on? Why are you here?"
"That's not the real question Jane; the real question is - why are you here?"
I took this opportunity to grab the lapel of Ross's robe and pull it open, he was naked underneath the robe, of course.
Jane looked past me at this moment, the three of us were still standing at the door. I turned around and saw what Jane was staring at, Sarah was out of her car and watching the entire episode.
"You had to bring our daughter?" The bitch was mad at me!
"No, she wanted to come because she said there was no way her mother could be cheating on our marriage. She was anxious to prove this was all a figment of my imagination. And you can be pissed at me all you want, but I didn't make this mess, you did!"
I was starting to lose it, so needed to back out now. I handed Jane the manila envelope, she touched it as if I handed her a live grenade (only in my dreams).
"I'll be staying with Jim and Sarah tonight. You can stay with your long lost boyfriend. Read the paperwork, get a lawyer, don't come home until you understand what's in those papers and you can abide by the terms. I'll have Jim bring your suitcase and personal items from their house. I don't know what Sarah and Jim are going to do from now on, that's their decision. But you and I are getting a divorce. Goodbye Jane."
I turned and walked away. I thought I heard a wail from Jane, but Ross was slamming the door too hard to tell for certain.
"Dad, I'm so sorry. You better drive us back to the house. I don't think I can make it." Sarah practically collapsed in my arms as I opened the passenger door for her.
While my life sucked from that moment and for months to come, I don't think it compared to how much worse it was for Jane.
Jim was shocked when he was told about Jane and Allen Ross. He was so pissed that for months he refused to allow Jane in their home or to see her grandson. Sarah didn't argue with Jim; if Jim was pissed, Sarah was livid. I was in their home when Jane called Sarah to talk. Sarah basically called her own mother everything short of 'whore' and told Jane that she may never forgive her for breaking her father's heart.
Ross lost the Taylor account, and thanks to a call from Jeff Taylor to Ross's boss, eventually lost his job. Ross blamed Jane for his run of bad luck and ended up throwing her out of his house. Jane ended up moving in with her folks. Sarah later told me Jane's mother and father weren't happy with the situation, but realized Jane didn't have too many alternatives until the divorce and the financial settlement was finalized.
The divorce was final within six month; my battery of lawyers worked it out that Jane doesn't get a thing from the sale of the patent. They were able to shield almost all the money because the patent was sold to a foreign company and my portion was placed in an offshore trust; don't ask me how, all I know is it cost me six figures this make it all work, but it kept the money out of Jane's hands. She did get plenty, half the sale of our house, half of our savings, but well short of millions.
Soon after the divorce I did get a letter from Jane, but it didn't explain why she cheated. Maybe her excuses made sense to her but not to me. It contained the usual excuses - empty nest, feeling lonely, needing closure with Ross (even after all these years). What the letter didn't explain was why she would jeopardize what I thought was a great marriage just for such bullshit reasons.
Jane reacted poorly to her new reality - the loss of her marriage, the separation from Sarah and Bill Junior, and finally the second separation from Ross. Her behavior became erratic, she started drinking and continued to go downhill. Jane ended up going into rehab at her parents' incidence. I suppose most jilted husbands would feel some pleasure from seeing their whore ex-wife get what she deserves and there are times when a small smile crossed my lips thinking of her suffering. But let's face it, I loved this woman for so many years, so many years trying to shield her from pain, how could I just stop caring?
Thank goodness for the support I received from my kids. I may have been uneasy about destroying my ex-wife, but I had no qualms about messing with Ross.
I got a chuckle out of a couple things Jim did even after his dad got Ross fired. One evening Jim looked over the back fence and saw Ross entertaining a young woman. Jim went to the fence, called the woman over and proceeded to ask how she felt hanging out with a guy who fucked a married woman, then dumped her when the woman needed him. Jim laughed when the woman walked out the side gate, He watched as Ross walked out of his back door carrying two wine glasses and looking around the yard for his date.
Jim did the same thing a few weeks later when Ross was entertaining a group of friends in his backyard. Jim stood at the fence and asked the group what they thought of their scumbag friend. But the last straw for Ross came a month later when I was helping the kids with their move to a new home; Sarah had to get away from Ross and they needed a bigger place since Sarah was pregnant again..
Ross was out back cutting his lawn. I told Jim to wait a couple minutes, then start recording the scene on his smart phone, but make certain to put his thumb over the microphone. I jumped over the fence and started to talk to Ross in a low voice. I said a few things to get him riled.
Ross was so pissed that he took the bait. Jim caught it on video. I was standing with my hands at my side when Ross took the first swing. I was ready for it and ducked enough to only get clipped. My first roundhouse caught Ross right in the nose. The sound of his nose crunching and the sight of the blood made my heart swell. The second roundhouse caught Ross in the solar plexus. Ross doubled over and began puking. I had to back up fast to avoid getting my shoes covered with his bile. As he leaned over puking I grabbed his ear, twisted the hell out of it and whispered, "Next time you won't be so lucky, next time you'll get seriously hurt."
Ross was still doubled over when I walked out his yard through the front. Somehow his Mercedes got keyed (juvenile, I know, but it just seemed like the right thing to do at that moment).
I immediately went to the police station with Jim. My story was Ross invited me over to his yard, I figured it was to apologize, but when I got there, Ross took a swing at me and I only defended myself. Jim showed the cops his recording and I swore out a complaint of assault. Hours later Ross got out of the emergency room and headed to the police station to swear out a complaint against me.
The whole episode came down to "he said - he said" and I ended up walking out of the court house scot-free.
It's funny (not hah-hah funny), I spent my entire career believing in the 'win-win' philosophy. Always looking for the way that both parties to a contract walk out of the room feeling good. There's nothing win-win in a divorce, at least nothing I can point to; it's definitely 'lose-lose', no matter how bad you stick it to your cheating ex-spouse.
It's been two years since that awful afternoon sitting in that rented van. I wish I could say that I met a thirty-something bikini model who loved to give deep throat head and pledged her everlasting love and fidelity to me, but we all know life isn't really that kind. I had twenty-four great years with the woman I loved with all my heart. I have two great kids - yes, I consider Jim to be a son, and now two great grandchildren. Financially, I'm in great shape - do you know how many men get shafted by the system and end up living in a one-room apartment while supporting a cheating ex-wife? Too many, but at least that's not my fate.
No, I have enough money to live comfortably and even travel. I'm currently spending a month touring Italy on a Ducati. Even took in the MotoGP races in Mugello. But as I sit having an espresso outside a café in Florence, I have to fight back the tears. Jane and I always said we'd do this together, tour Italy on a motorcycle with no deadlines and only each other. Now I'm doing it without her.
Jane did get out of rehab, but still lives with her parents. Sarah and Jim allow her to visit her grandchildren for no more than an hour every month. I think Sarah does as a form of torture, she still hasn't forgiven her mother.
The question haunts me, "How could she do this to us?"
Life isn't a movie where every question is answered before the credits. It's more like a Joseph Conrad novel; life just is - and often absurd - and the good guys don't always win.
I finish my espresso, put the helmet back on, start the bike and ride into my own Heart of Darkness.
