JOAD IN FEBRUARY by demander

-JOAD

I'm Tom Joad, and my wife is Linda. I'm just 5'10" and weigh 165.( But I have my strengths). We met in college when I was 23 and she 21. I was in the Army, taking classes to get a dual degree in economics and accounting. She was a biology major.

My Army work was intermittent, but dangerous. Our unit was assigned to accomplish discrete missions, often involving punishment of someone ostensibly a friend. In short, we were assassins. My specialty was planning and close combat.

I graduated at 25 years old and two years later I resigned from the army and married Linda. Two kids came along in four years - both girls. I was working for myself doing accounting for some local businesses, and also was trading commodities from home. Linda was busy with the kids. But when we had been married ten years, she got work at a local laboratory, connected to the college. Both girls were in school, and I was working from home, so she could get back to work, which she liked.

We were living in the house that I grew up in. I had owned it since my parents moved to Florida, and I bought it from them when I was still in school. (Some of our army missions gave the unit a chance at some loot, which we split up ten ways. So I had money when the chance to buy came up.)

At the end of February one year, we decided to go out with our neighborhood friends, dinner and dancing at a club afterwards. There were eight of us, and we all had sitters for the night. Linda and I had booked a room at the hotel connected to the dance club. She looked spectacular 5'6" slim, brunette, wearing a blue silky dress.

We had a great meal and a lot of fun dancing at the club, when a party of six came in. One of them was a big blond guy - Marc Stevens who was an all pro linebacker for the local team. He was immediately noticed by all the women at our table. Stevens was with a lovely blond woman, who wore what looked like a big engagement ring. They danced well together. Our friend June said she was a cheerleader for the team, engaged to Stevens.

After they had been there some time, I noticed Stevens looking at our table. He got up and walked toward us. He immediately focused on Linda and just asked her to dance without even looking at me. I put my hand on her arm to stop her, but she got up from the table and went with him. She didn't look back at me at all. I was more than a little annoyed.

I was even more annoyed when, after two fast dances a slow number came on and Linda melted into Marc's arms. I got up and walked to the bar, right past them. The women at our table didn't like that, and made it clear. But I went anyway. Not that it made any difference to Linda, who never noticed me walk by. I got a coffee. When the slow number ended the two of them separated and Linda walked back toward out table. I stayed at the bar drinking my coffee. I saw her look around for me, and see me over there. She looked a bit flustered. She sat next to June. I walked over, and as I approached the two of them got up.

I said, 'Did you have your fun?'

'Sorry, maybe I got a little carried away.'

'Maybe so.'

June cut in, 'Tom, it was just a little dancing, nothing much.'

'I thought it was insulting to me,' I said. I sat down.

'June and I are going to the ladies room. We'll be right back.' Linda said.

They left, and so did Marc, walking out the front, without the blond. June came back, but Linda wasn't with her.

I asked, 'Where is she?'

'Tom, Linda isn't here now, she went with Marc.'

'You're kidding.' I ran out front and saw Linda get into a red Escalade. The car pulled off.

I went back to the table. June was speaking to the rest.

'Did all of you know what she was doing?'

June said, 'Tom, you need to let her have this night. She'll come back to you tomorrow.'

'No, I don't need her to come back. Let her know that when you talk to her. We're finished.'

There was a general hubbub at the table when I said that. They all thought I was being too harsh.

So I barked at them, 'I don't want to have anything to do with any of you any more. You all knew and no one warned me, so I could maybe stop her. Now, she's going to lose everything for a night of sex.'

I walked toward the coat check desk, but I saw the blond at the table with the other four that came with Stevens. She was crying. I walked over.

'Are you his girl friend?'

'Yes, I was his girl. Not now, though.'

'Where did they go?'

'To our house on Cherry Lane. He said he would never do this once we were engaged. I'm sorry, was that your wife?'

'Was is the operative word there,' I said.

'He'll be finished with her in the morning, and drive her home. He likes to gloat at the husband.'

'What an asshole!'

At that the other two guys, both big, one black, one white, took offense. I ignored them. I gave May my business card, and told her to give me a call. She smiled, but she was crying. I walked away.

I got my coat, but left Linda's . I went to the hotel room, and took my case, but left Linda's . I checked out.

As I drove home a fully formed plan came to me. This had happened to me while I was serving. It's why I was alive now. Too bad a plan hadn't occurred to me before Linda left.

I pulled my car into the garage, went inside and engaged the security system.

I went downstairs and retrieved a rope I had stored there for some years.

Then I went upstairs and took off my clothing, and jogged to the second floor. I got a black Underarmour suit, a black hoodie and dark grey sweatpants I put on some old sneakers, and two sets of gloves. I also got a baclava mask. I put it all on and climbed up to the attic with the rope. I fastened it securely to a beam, as I had done when I lived there as a kid. I climbed out of the narrow window and bounced down the side of the house. There was nothing but a wooded area on that side.

I ran and hopped the side fence, down the path to the rear workshop. I let myself in, and got a backpack, some extra wool socks, a pen knife and an old hand axe that I had deep in a toolbox. I stored all that in the backpack.

Then I got my bike and left, pedaling away toward the river, through some woods. I went across the river bridge, and up toward Cherry Street. I saw the house with the football statue, and a red Escalade parked in front.

I took the axe and knife, jumped the fence and jogged past the SUV. I used the axe to break the passenger side window. The alarm sounded. Then I jumped to the porch and hid behind a pillar near the door. I didn't have to wait long.

The lights went on and the door opened. Asshole poked his head out and used the key fob to stop the alarm. He stepped outside. He had a semi-automatic pistol.

I dealt with him with two blows of the axe. I returned and closed the front door.

I turned and jogged off. I jumped the stone wall and returned to my bike. I took the wool socks out, and put the axe, knife, gloves and shoes inside the backpack, zipped it up. I mounted up and rode away toward the river. When I got near the bridge, I stopped and tossed the entire backpack as far out into the river as I could -- which was pretty far. There had been a rain the day before and the river was moving fast.

I rode my bike back toward home, and through the nearby woods to the workshop. I let myself inside. I took off the socks and put on another pair of sneakers. I sprayed the bike handles and pedals with an ammonia solution and wiped them. Then I jogged back, hopped the side fence and climbed back up the side of the house. That wasn't as easy as I thought it would be, but I made it, and scrambled through the small window. I pulled up the rope and wound it up.

I wiped down the windowsill with a rag and trotted down to the basement, with the rope. I took off all my clothing, including the mask and under gloves, and put them into the washer. Then I showered in the basement bathroom, for some time, washing everything twice. Once that was done, I put on a pair of exercise shorts and went upstairs. I left the door open to the basement so I could hear when the washer stopped. I thought about it, and put on the clothing I had worn to the club the night before.

I went back down to the basement and transferred the wet clothing to the dryer. I went upstairs and made a snack, and had a shot of whiskey. Then I sat for a while, thinking things through again. When the dryer stopped, I took the clothes upstairs and put them away into their spots. The baclava mask went up into the back of the closet, where I had it stored to begin with. I looked at the clock. It was 2:50 a.m. The whole thing, from when I went into the house from the club, started at midnight.

I went downstairs and sat on the couch and had another whiskey. I fell asleep.

I was awakened by the door chime at 6:02 a.m. I looked at the door camera display and saw two people -- an African-American woman and a white guy with a crew cut. Cops.

The doorbell rang again, and I opened it.

'Who are you? You look like police,' I said.

'I'm Detective Asper, and this is Detective Logan,' the black woman said. They flashed their badges.

I put on an uncertain face. 'Is it Linda? He didn't hurt her did he?'

'No, she hasn't been physically injured. But Mr. Stevens has been attacked. May we come inside?'

'Sure. Where's Linda? Did you bring her?'

The white detective said, 'No sir, she's in hospital -- being treated for shock.'

I paused for a second. I just looked at them. And they just looked at me.

'Have a seat,' I said indicating the couch. but they sat apart in two straight back chairs. So I used the couch.

'I think you should explain what happened,' I said.

'What have you done since your wife left the club with Stevens?' This was Logan again.

'Just tell me what happened, okay?'

Asper answered, 'No, you should just answer the question.'

'I went to our hotel room, got my stuff, checked out and drove here. I drank myself to sleep on this couch. You woke me up.'

'Is anyone else here?'

'No, kids are at a sitter for the night.'

'Did you make any calls? Email anyone -- you know to prove you were here.'

'Nope. But I never left.'

Asper looked around, 'I see you have a security system. What does it cover?'

'Covers all the doors. I think I can show you I was here. Come upstairs.'

They followed me to the upstairs office, and I sat at the computer desk. I showed them the system, and they watched me download the data from 6:00 p.m. to when they arrived. I gave them a jump drive. The system was focused on all three doors -- front, side and patio sliding door to the pool area. The side that I had come down had no door, faced the woods, and had two large windows -- but neither opened. So there was no coverage.

'We're going to have to take that computer,' Logan said.

'Why? You watched me download the security data.'

'Because you might have messed with it before we got here.'

'Okay, but I can't have it gone for more than a day. It's a work computer and I need it. I have a replacement, but it won't do for long. Watch me... I'm going to download some stuff onto this external drive, including what I just gave to you.'

And I did that.

They asked to look around, and I let them, but I insisted that they stay together, and with me. They took some pictures and then left. It was 7:10 a.m.

I called Linda's parents. They were John and Stephanie, and lived in the next neighborhood over. But they were at their lake house then. I told them what had happened, and that the police said Linda was in hospital in shock. John was really taken aback by what Linda had done. Stephanie, maybe not so much.

Stephanie asked, 'Are you going to see her?'

'No. Sorry, that's why I called you. I really don't want to have anything to do with her after what she did. It's a bad break that the guy was attacked, but that's not on me. Apparently he's done this sort of thing many times.'

'When she gets out of the hospital she needs to stay away from me and the house. We can make arrangements for her stuff to get transferred.'

John said, 'Why don't you move and she stay? The kids have lived there all their lives.'

'It's my house. It's not community property.'

John was a lawyer, and I guessed he'd try to finagle something. We'd just have to see.

He said, 'That's pretty harsh, Tom.'

'Not as harsh as what she did to me.'

That ended the conversation. Then I called my folks in Florida. I told them what had happened, as much as I could. They also were shocked by Linda's behavior.

My dad had the TV on and he told me there was a headline about Stevens. It said he was attacked and killed at his home.

Not news to me.

The phone rang -- land line. It was Judy.

'Tom, where's Linda? We heard that Marc was killed.'

'She's in hospital with shock, I'm told by the police.'

'Have you seen her? Which hospital?'

'I don't know. I don't plan on seeing her.'

'Don't be like that. She needs your support.'

'She'll never have any support from me. I don't care that her big night was ruined -- if it was ruined.'

'I'm going to go see her. You're a pig. Did you kill Marc?'

'Nope, but I'm not sorry about it. Good riddance.'

Judy hung up.

I showered, again, and got dressed to go pick up the kids from the sitter. It was about 0800. When I got there, they had not heard anything about the evening's activities. We went home, and they wanted to know where Linda was.

I said, 'She won't be here today, I think. She has something she has to do. We'll just get on with the day. Get dressed for soccer.'

I took them to the soccer complex, where their games were at noon and 1:30. I was pretty relaxed watching them play. Michelle, the youngest was pretty good. Laura not so much, but she tried hard and it was good exercise.

After the games ended we got ice cream and went home. There were some messages on my cell phone. I had it on mute while I was out with the girls.

One was from Linda's parents, telling me she was at St. Jude's hospital, and was non-communicative.

One was from a doctor at the hospital, asking me to call her.

One was from Judy -- telling me Linda was with the police, and wasn't talking to anyone. She said I should probably cool off and bring the girls to see her.

I called the girls downstairs and told them that their mom was in the hospital, and that she was not injured, but was emotionally damaged by something from last night.

They wanted to know what happened.

I told them, 'Your mom went off with a famous football player, to his house to have sex last night. There's no other way to say this. I thought about keeping it from you, but I figured you'd find out. When she was there, someone attacked the football guy, but apparently not her. But she must have found him, or something, because she is in the hospital, in shock.'

They weren't sure if they wanted to go see her, but I told them to get dressed and we would go.

I called the doctor back -- Dr. Laura Thompson. She said Linda was traumatized and at the moment was catatonic. I asked her about bringing the kids. She hesitated.

The doctor asked, 'Are you going to see her?'

'I really don't want to see her at all. I assume you know why. But I can bring the girls, if you think it might help.'

'Do they know what happened? I mean, about the surrounding circumstances?'

'You mean about the sex between Linda and the football guy? Yes. I told them. They are dressed and ready to come there, if you think it might help Linda.'

'Okay, I'll meet you at room 311 in 30 minutes,' she said.

We went there. Dr. Thompson was in her late thirties, and her specialty was as a psychiatrist. We spoke for a brief time, and then she spoke to the girls. She said that their mother had had a real shock and that she seemed unaware of her surroundings. She said that seeing the girls might help. Did they want to see her?

They did. I accompanied them to the door, and peered in. Linda was sitting in a bed, staring at a TV with cartoons. The girls walked up to her, tentatively.

Laura, the oldest, touched hand and called her mom. Shellie followed. But there was no reaction. Shellie started to cry. I went to her, picked her up, looked at Linda. Northing. I took Laura's hand and walked them out.

'Well, we tried,' I said.

'Will she wake up?' Laura asked.

Sure, some time,' I said. 'Maybe you can visit her again soon. Maybe when she comes around you can see her.'

'What if she doesn't wake up?' Shellie whispered.

I was reassuring, 'She will, I know it. Maybe slowly.'

The doctor said, 'Girls, I will surely let you know when she comes back from this.'

We left the hospital. The girls were both crying in the car. Maybe I shouldn't have taken them. I just wanted to see Linda, and see if their presence would help. Despite my callous reaction to her infidelity, I hadn't wished this upon her. I felt bad about it, although she deserved to suffer. Not like this, though. I felt some tears on my cheeks.

When we got home, I made up some eggs and toast for them to eat. I intentionally got them involved in the cooking, pretending I needed help. It seemed to cheer them up -- to be able to boss me around. Then I put on a movie for them.

I went into my office and called a friend of mine, to see if I could get some information on what happened at Stevens' house (after I left). He was a public defender, and very good at it. He said that I would not be able to get the police reports. But he had an idea -- ambulance runs reports were publicly available. I asked him to get that, if he could, and we hung up.

I went into the living room and watched the movie, absently, thinking through what might happen.

In an hour my lawyer friend called back. He said he had emailed me the ambulance run, and it was pretty bad. I told him about the police visit. He said that if the security showed no one coming or going, I probably didn't have to worry. But he also said that the police might get a search warrant, or want to talk to me again. He recommended a lawyer to me, if needed.

I thought that I did not need a lawyer, but I called the woman anyway, after I saw the ambulance report. Police had found Linda with Stevens' head cradled in her lap. She had blood all over her, dressed in just a thin robe. She was chanting, 'NO, NO, NO, NO...' over and over.

The police gathered her up and put her into the ambulance. She had been unresponsive when the ambulance got there, and all the way to the hospital. An officer had ridden along with her, asking if she saw who did it. But he got no response.

I was sickened by this. And it made me wonder if she would ever recover. I looked up PTSD. I had looked it up before, for me. I looked up shock induced catatonic state. It seemed as if people normally recovered from the catatonic state, but might be affected for years by the PTSD.

The lawyer -- Joan Drake -- made an appointment for me to see her that Monday morning at 0930. She gave me her cell number in case police came earlier. They didn't The girls and I spent Sunday lounging around, with me trying to reassure them that Linda would return sooner or later, but may still need our help.

As for me, I wondered what her reaction to me might be, when she had one. I was pretty sure she hadn't seen anything. And if she did see something, it would only have been a person all in black, with a mask. But maybe she would make an assumption about me doing that. I didn't know. I didn't think she had any experience of me that would allow her to seriously think I would be capable of doing what, in fact, I did do.

Monday I got the girls off to school. I had monitored coverage of Stevens' killing on the local news. Linda's name had not been mentioned. But it was said that Stevens had been 'hosting' a married woman when he was attacked just outside his home. Police were called by a neighbor in response to Linda's screaming.

So far, no one other than the authorities had connected Linda or me with the murder. But I thought that would change in time.

Joan Drake was a nifty looking blonde of maybe 45 years. She was also quite sharp, just as my friend said. I told her the story from the start, and gave her a copy of the ambulance report. She was appalled. She stared at me. I looked back at her and simply said that police had a copy of the security video, and that it had not been tampered with and showed absolutely no one coming or going between when I arrived home and when the police came. I asked her to get my computer back, because I needed it for work. I gave her a retainer and listened as she called the police station and asked for Detective Asper.

'Hi Detective,' she said. 'It's Joan Drake. I'm calling for Tom Joad. I want to see if I can get his work computer back......'

'No, I think you've had enough time to see if it had been altered. You know it hasn't.'

'Okay, I'll send someone tomorrow morning to get it from you.....'

'No, I'll send someone from the office, he won't be coming.'

I held up my hand. I mouthed, 'I'll get it.' She nodded.

'Okay, he'll be there. 900.'

When she was off the phone I told her that I wouldn't talk to the cops, and that I'd have a phone with me to record the discussions, if any.

I left.

That afternoon the girls got home from school and immediately asked about Linda. I'd called the doctor earlier, and there was no real change. They got busy with their homework. Later we had pizza delivered. I told them that if their mom didn't come home soon, I'd have to learn how to cook. That got a laugh. (But I am really a good cook -- just never did it at home much.)

When her sister went upstairs Laura asked me if I could forgive mom for having sex with another guy.

'Maybe, I said. 'I really don't know. Right now I just want her to get better.'

The land line rang then. It was Jim Beamon, from the newspaper.

'Mr. Joad? Jim Beamon here from the Trib.'

'Hello.'

'We have information that it was your wife Linda who was with Marc Stevens when he was killed. Can you confirm that?'

'I'd like that not to become public. I have two youngsters in school and they'd have to be removed maybe if that came out.'

Jim said, 'So you do confirm that. How do you feel about the death of your wife's lover?'

'I see where you're going with this. If something you publish results in some harm to my family, I will act against you and your paper.'

'This is gonna come out Mr. Joad. I can't help that.'

I looked out the window and saw a TV truck parked in front of the house. Channel 7.

I said, 'I see a TV truck, I guess you're right. Shit. Sorry, I have to go.'

A knock came at the door. I looked at the camera and saw a young woman there with a mic.

I spoke over the intercom.

'Go away, you're trespassing and I WILL call the police.'

'Is your wife there Mr. Joad?'

I called the local precinct and told them I need help getting the press off my front porch. And they did respond and take what was now a group of six people off the porch. But they didn't go far. There were four trucks now. I called the doctor and told her to get some security on Linda before the press barged in.

I spoke to the girls and told them that I thought they might be staying with me at another spot, and doing school differently. But they said they wanted to keep going to school, even if they had to live at another place. I said I'd think it over.

I called my lawyer. Joan, and asked her advice. She said that she would issue a statement to the press if I wanted, to see if that took the heat off. We arranged that.

The statement was issued through her office and said that my family would like to be allowed to go on with daily life. It said that I had no comment on the rumors about my wife, and would not have any comment in the future. It said that continued presence of media outside the house would be actionable if it harmed the family, and that we would appreciate it if the trucks left.

Meanwhile, Det. Asper and her commander announced a press conference for 700pm.

I watched.

The police said that Marc Stevens had been attacked outside his home, and killed with some sort of sharp object. It said that while there was a woman inside the house at the time, there was no indication that she witnessed the attack.

It said that the investigation was ongoing.

The first question was whether the woman was married and if her husband was a suspect.

Det. Asper said, 'Since you all know her name, I assume that you know that she is married. But we have conducted a thorough investigation of him, and there is no indication whatsoever that he was involved in the attack. In fact, he appears to have been at his home all night, some distance away from the scene.'

A reporter piped up, 'What about other women? Married women? Their husbands?'

'We have systematically investigated claims that Mr. Stevens regularly seduced married women, and have found that there is some truth to that. In fact, he seems to have spirited several married women off while their husbands were present. So, we are investigating that aspect.'

Commander Johnson interrupted the proceedings, 'That's all for now. If we have anything else before our Wednesday briefing, we will let you know.'

And the police left amid shouting.

I made arrangements with the girls' school to have their work dropped off here, or sent by computer for the next few days. I called Linda's parents and told them to watch out for the press, but none were there so far. They had also disappeared from our street.

On Tuesday the doctor called and said that Linda had become responsive and that the police were with her. I told her parents. And I packed up the girls to take them to the hospital.

By the time we got there the police were just leaving. Det. Asper said that she'd like to talk to me when we finished seeing her. I said okay.

Linda seemed dazed still. She greeted the girls with a smile and hugged them. But she really didn't look at me. The girls told her about the TV trucks, and about school. But Linda then seemed to doze off. And the doctor said we should let her sleep.

Her parents were outside and spoke to the girls while I went to Det. Asper.

'She seems to be on the way back' said Asper.

'Maybe. Dunno really.'

'Are you going to take her home?'

'Until she recovers and then I'm sure we'll be separated.'

Asper said, 'I think you should cut her a break. What more punishment could she get than what happened?'

'Not a matter of punishment. It's a matter of respect, and trust. I'll never trust her and I'll never respect her. And, she may never respect me either.'

Asper smiled, 'She might fear you. She might not trust you, either.'

'You're just trying to bait me. You know full well I had nothing to do with Stevens getting attacked.'

'I know you have an army background. I know that your reputation in the service was formidable. So, maybe some regular guy couldn't have done this, but maybe you could have done it.'

'I didn't. Period.'

'We have home security video from Stevens' house, you know.'

'Not my problem. I wasn't there.'

'Be seeing you around.' It came out like a threat.

Linda gradually regained some semblance of normal behavior in the next few days. I took the girls each day, but didn't spend much time in the room with them.

On the fourth day Linda was to be discharged. She asked to speak to me alone, and I sent the girls out.

'I'm sorry for what I did, embarrassing you like that.'

'I don't think an apology will cut it, Linda. I can't tell you how demeaning to me it was. Now it's national news.'

'I'd like to come home when I get released this afternoon.'

She sat up on the bed, and moved to a chair.

'Can I come home?'

'You know, there are media and they'll follow you out of here. I don't want the girls' lives disrupted any further.'

'Maybe I can sneak out.'

I took a long look at her, then. 'You're good at sneaking out, for sure.'

She didn't look up.

I said, 'I'll check with security. I can't say that I want to be around you, but maybe for now I have little choice.'

'I didn't mean for you to be hurt. I thought you loved me and could get past it. Or, really, I didn't think about that at all.'

'Did he fuck you?'

'No. We were naked in the bed when the commotion started.'

I stared at her, and knew full well she was lying.

'See, I can't say I believe you, or would believe anything you told me. Really I can't ever trust you again. But we can see how things go.'

'Okay. I love you.'

I just turned and walked out. I went to the hospital security office and arranged for a car to pick Linda up behind the building, and take her to my house. That was set up for 400 pm. It went off without a hitch, and she arrived home about 445. The kids and her parents were there with me.

I had set up a bed in my office for myself. Linda would sleep in our room.

The rest of the day was very awkward, to say the least. Her parents didn't quite know how to approach the whole situation. Linda and her mom and the kids played monopoly in the living room.

Her dad wanted to talk, and so we went to the patio.

John asked, 'What are you going to do, Tom?'

'I don't really know, but the odds are that we're finished.'

'You should try to forgive. You've loved each other for so long, and you have a wonderful family.'

'I know. But I am questioning whether we actually have loved each other for so long. If she loved me, she would never have done that.'

'She said they didn't have intercourse.

'That's what she said. How am I to know? She was there with him quite a while.'

'Does it really make any difference? She would have done it, and we all know that.'

'Well, it might make a difference if he didn't use protection. She might have a disease, or be pregnant.'

'Shit.' The thought didn't please him.

'For now she can stay here. But you might want to look for some other solution soon.'

We went back inside and all ate pizza. Her parents went home. As far as I know they did not discuss the Marc stuff with her.

As we were putting the girls to bed, Laura asked Linda why she went to have sex with Marc.

'I'm so sorry. I was weak and wrong.'

'But I don't understand. He's just a football player. I looked him up. He's not our Daddy.'

'No, he's not. I'll talk to you about his later, when I figure out more.'

The girls went to bed, and Linda went downstairs to the kitchen. I followed about ten minutes later. Meanwhile I made a call to my public defender friend, and asked him about the autopsy report. He said it was also a public document, and I asked him to get it if he could.

Linda was drinking a Pepsi. She had been discouraged from alcohol because it might cause her to relapse.

She asked. 'Are you sleeping in our room?'

'No, the office.'

'Well, you're welcome any time.'

'We'll just have to see. Right now I don't see a way forward for us, but this all just happened this week.'

'I can be patient.'

'Really? I hadn't noticed.'

I climbed up to my office and went to bed. I didn't sleep so well, and got up at 500am. I made coffee. My buddy had sent me a copy of Stevens' autopsy, fresh off the presses. I read it carefully, especially the analysis of the injuries.

The ME had swabbed his penis and scrotum. She found evidence of ejaculate and female excretions. Samples were sent for lab analysis.

It sure looked as if Linda had lied when she said they hadn't had intercourse. I never believed that, because of the timing. She'd been there for about two hours before the killing.

When she came down, we got the girls off to school, almost like normal. They were a bit subdued, though, when I drove them.

I spent a good amount of time reviewing my options. If it hadn't been for Linda's illness, I would never have let her back into the house. But there were advantages to allowing that, including making things a little easier on the girls, if things settled down.

Just as I came into the house another TV truck pulled up outside and a young woman got out and shouted at me, asking if Linda was at home, and if I forgave her.

I smiled, waved, and warned her not to come onto the property. I went inside.

Linda had made some biscuits, and offered me one, which I took.

'There's a TV truck outside. They don't know you're here, and maybe they shouldn't.'

'What do they want? They already published my name and what I was doing at his house. Can they do any more harm?'

'I'm sure they can think of something.'

I looked at her. 'I've been considering what to do about you, or about us. I'd like you to write down for me exactly what happened last Friday, from when the jerk walked up to us until you were in the hospital. It doesn't have to be right now, but soon, if possible. If it's too traumatic, skip part and come back later.

'I'll try. I also have to call work and see if I still have a job.'

'Why would they fire you? For cheating on me? Why would they care?'

'Well, I've been off for a week.'

She called and was told she could put the week on her sick leave, and next week on her vacation time. The she went to her bedroom, and sat at the desk, typing on her computer. I left her alone and went to my office, where I began to research the autopsy material. I made sure that I would get the results of the tests done, but maybe not for another few days.

Linda was trying to behave normally around me, that was clear. But I thought that she had to have some questions about what happened.

Our routine continued for two days, until I got the test results from the autopsy. Linda's DNA, sexual secretions, was identified on Stevens' penis. So she lied about the sex, for sure. I was waiting to see what she wrote to me about what happened. But I just couldn't see continuing life with her as my wife.

After dinner the next day Linda came into my home office.

'I finished writing. Here.' She handed me a printout.

I read what she wrote:.

Tom, I'm so sorry for my weakness. When Marc asked me to dance, I was so thrilled. He was captivating and with such a reputation. When we were dancing, I didn't really think of anything else. When the slow number came up, I just found myself at his mercy. He pulled me to himself, and he was big and hard. Honestly, I would have fucked him right there. I don't know why he was so attractive to me, but he was.

He told me to slip out the side door, and we'd go to his place. He said I'd have the sexual experience of my life. I believed him.

When the dance ended I went back to our table, and you weren't there. I arranged to go to the women's room with J. When you came back, I could see that you were really angry. But I thought that you'd get over it in time, and I wanted Marc so much. So I went out the side door, and we drove to his house.

He kissed me as soon as we got inside, and he picked me up and carried me upstairs to his bed. He fucked me. Then I sucked him clean and he fucked me again. As we were finishing that, the car alarm went off. He put on a robe and went. He told me to wait there.

I looked out the window, but I could not see over the porch roof. I saw someone running away, dressed in black. The person jumped the fence. I found a robe and went down to the front door. He was lying in the drive. I ran to him. His head was bashed in. I was...well, I was in some sort of trance. Just stunned and shocked. I felt guilty, as if it was all my fault for sinning. The police came. And I remember being in the hospital.

I'm so sorry for it all. I love you and I don't know why I did what I did. Linda

I looked up at her. She had tears running down her face.

'Tom, were you the person who I saw?'

'I was here all night drinking. Regretting the end of my marriage and the changes that had to come with my family. I had hate. But surely the police told you that I was here. They have the security tape.'

'That's what they said when I asked. But.....'

'No buts. I can tell you that I believe Stevens got what he deserved.'

'No, Tom. He didn't deserve that. He was nice.'

'And he rocked your world, eh?'

'Tom, we don't need to go there.'

'Why not? I want you to know that I will never be able to love you again, not like I did. Maybe not at all. The person I thought I married would never have done what you did. Was it worth it? Was the sex worth what you lost? What he lost?'

'You know, the sex was really spectacular. But not worth what happened. If we could have had the night, and me come home the next day, well, maybe. But he's dead, and I'm screwed up for good.'

'Yep.'

'You killed him.' She turned and ran out of the room.

'No, you killed him,' I muttered.

After that, our relationship was really cold. I determined not to try to convince her that I was innocent, and not to try to make up to her in any way. Of course, I would never admit to her what happened. I assumed that if I did that, she'd tell the cops right away. She was a woman not to be trusted at all. She had just told me that if Stevens hadn't been killed her slut night would have been worth the consequences. Maybe not in those words, but still....

I filed for divorce a few weeks later. I asked for custody of the kids, so they could stay in the house. Linda still had her job, so I asked for no alimony, but also no child support, and liberal visitation.

Linda had recovered sufficiently that I insisted that she move out. She went to stay with her parents. I had her served there. Soon after her father called. He wanted me to withdraw the papers, said Linda was distraught.

I told him that she deserved to be distraught, and she should get a lawyer. He was quite angry, but I didn't know if he was angry with me or her. He asked about visitation and I told him that she could come over any night and stay until they went to bed.

Linda was over the next day at 500. I had cooked macaroni and cheese and we ate with the girls. We played some board games with them, and put them to bed. After that Linda wanted to talk, but I didn't.

'We need to work this out, Tom. It won't be good for the girls for us to be apart.'

'They'll have to adjust. You can get a place where they can visit. The sooner we work out the divorce, the sooner you can have a visitation schedule.'

'Please, I don't want a divorce. I made a mistake. Okay, a big mistake, but I love you.'

'No way we stay married after you openly fucked that asshole. Forget it and move on.'

Linda began tearing up. Not sobbing, but just quietly crying. I did feel sorry for her, but not sorry enough to change my mind. We were toast.

The divorce went through. We worked out a joint custody agreement, and Linda had an apartment with a big second bedroom for the girls. The two of us settled into a distant, but amicable relationship, focused on the girls.

After about four months, I began to date. Women from our circle, and from work knew that I was unattached, and I seemed to attract their attention. When Linda had the girls, I brought several women home for the night. None of them lasted too long, though. But the sex was usually good, and sometimes great. I stayed away from married women, although some of them seemed anxious to bed me. But after my experience, I thought it immoral to do that.

Linda was good with the girls, and not so good by herself. She was taking anti-depressants, and sleeping a lot. But she managed to go to work and do her job. I was told by her parents and the girls that she was not dating.

TEN YEARS ON:

Shellie went off to college today. Laura was to go to her junior year. The two of them had gotten used to the joint custody arrangement, and seemed to do quite well. They both dated in high school, and, I assume, in college for Laura,

I have been in a long term relationship with a younger woman -- Cody -- that I met at a bar one night. Like me, she was divorced. She had two children at home with her, and her husband had moved to the west coast. She was 35 years old when we met and her kids were in high school -- twins and in their sophomore year. When they went off to college she and I moved in together at my house. I loved her. She was lively, and smart, and the sex was great. Maybe she wasn't as much of a beauty as Linda had been, but she was pretty, and guys did pay attention to her when we went out.

I told her soon after we met about all the hullabaloo surrounding Marc Stevens' death. Of course, I never let on how he had died. The publicity eventually died down, and no one was ever arrested or charged.

One Saturday Detective Logan showed up at my house and I invited him in. I was home by myself.

'I retired last week. Good pension,' he said.

'I'm happy for you. But why are you here?'

'I just want you to know that I became convinced that you killed that asshole. And.....well...he deserved it. Maybe not your wife, though.'

'I didn't do it. BUT, he surely did deserve it. I congratulate whoever did do it. Why do you say Linda didn't deserve it?'

'Well...it was just one night and she only did what many other married women did when the jerk came on to them.'

'You know, if it had been them meeting somewhere and privately going off to fuck, maybe we could have gotten over it. But it was just too in your face.'

'I guess.'

'How's your partner?'

'She's a captain now. A real go getter.'

'She was sharp.' I said..

We shook hands and he left.

As for Linda, she eventually made a partial recovery. We rode together when I took Shellie to school. On the way back I asked her how things were for her.

Linda said, 'I'm okay. I have a boyfriend. Sort of a friend with benefits. I know you and Cody are together.'

'Well, yes. And when her kids go off to school we may move in together.'

Linda whispered, 'I wish all of it hadn't happened. We would be empty nesters now, and could have had some real fun. I'm still so sorry.'

'So am I.' We were both crying.

Later she moved into her friend's apartment. But I don't think she ever fully recovered from that night. And, maybe I haven't either.

I was never sorry at all for doing the jerk. Probably saved many marriages. One of my more effective altruistic deeds.

Post Tags Love Betrayal NewBeginnings PersonalGrowth TrueStories JOAD IN FEBRUARY